Reaction: Taskmaster, “Glass half most” | Series 19, Episode 7

“It’s amazing what the brain does.”

Fatiha El-Ghorri’s definition of “dignity”: “Elegance. Poise. Posh twat.”

It’s episode 7, the home stretch, of Taskmaster series 19. Fatiha El-Ghorri is killing it yet again with her in-studio eyeshadow game, Jason Mantzoukas has such a rough episode I actually feel sorry for him, Mathew Baynton is a boot-licker (of sorts), Rosie Ramsey keeps ordering people to do disgusting things, and Stevie Martin is amazed by brains.

Unless things go seriously astray in the last three episodes, it’s Baynton’s game to lose. Even though he’s won frankly too many individual episodes, I can’t be mad — he has really outdone himself lately. The man commits.

The Prize Task

This week’s prize task was the most anticlimactic object. I was surprised that more contestants didn’t go Baynton’s route — a lengthy in-studio build-up followed by a disappointing object (in his case, a plastic spoon). I wasn’t too sure at first about Ramsey’s wedding photo, but she persuaded me when she told Taskmaster Greg Davies, “I spent £25,000 for a day I didn’t enjoy.” Mantzoukas’ object, a Golden Noggin plastered with Little Alex Horne’s face, would have been a solid entry for a “creepiest object” prize task.

Mantzoukas: “It’s truly haunted. It’s evil.” Little Alex Horne: “It’s my face!”

The Other Tasks

• The first task was both disconcertingly simple (What’s in the yellow box? You may only give one answer.) and mind-bendingly complicated (multiple boxes! Lock codes! A magazine-reading bear! Monsters! Semaphore! Memorial park benches!), and I’m glad that got reflected in the contestants’ approaches, with most of them taking the long way ’round and trying to sort out Morse code from a crow. Mad props to El-Ghorri for getting it in under a minute. (Side note: I was happy to see the costumes from E5’s car-based task get reused.)

  • I wonder if the “You may only give one answer” restriction was devised after Mantzoukas’ 100-minute guessing game from last episode?

  • Can you imagine heading out for a nice day of fishing, only to be approached by a wild-haired, wild-eyed American gesturing at people dressed up as animals and monsters who tells you to “watch out for these fuckers”?

“That bear’s a straight perv.”

• The second task began by writing “most” or “least” in a little window on the closed task envelope, and then eating yog(h)urt with the least/most dignity. Most extreme eating wins. The best part of this task was the 30-minute time allowance. No, wait, the best part was Baynton writing “TWIT” all over his nearly naked body with what I assume was lipstick and licking the yogurt off Little Alex Horne’s loafers. Truly and honestly, I have never been as disgusted by a Taskmaster task as this one.

I couldn’t bear to use a screenshot of Baynton actually licking the yogurt off Little Alex Horne’s shoes and getting it all in his beard.

• Martin and Ramsey both went with an extremely British “class-based dignity,” which involved Ramsey yet again ordering people to do various disgusting things.

“Delicious. I own so much land.”

• The next-best part of this task was Davies’ response to Mantzoukas’ stated mission of “destroy, dismantle, engulf in flames.” “Very much an American foreign policy, isn’t it?” Touché, Taskmaster. Touché.

• The third task was another Taskmaster classic: Put at least six liters of water in the vase. I don’t think that Mantzoukas has ever cared about winning or even about points, but man, I felt for him in this task. He was just shy of filling the vase with six liters of water.

Jason Mantzoukas (incorrectly) eyeballs six liters.

• Baynton definitely stepped out of the “arena” (i.e., off the grass), but it wasn’t mentioned in the studio. More evidence that Little Alex Horne is going soft on us.

• When Ramsey read the live task aloud, I put my pen down in frustration. The convoluted live tasks are a real beast to try to summarize sometimes. But it turned out to make, weirdly, quite a lot of sense once the contestants started playing. Each team tried to pass tennis balls through a picket fence using wooden spoons, making for oddly riveting television (or as Davies said last episode, “Surprisingly watchable.”)

An especially riveting live task. “I’m locked in! I’m locked in!”

Elsewhere in the Taskmaster extended universe

Click and swipe below for a sweet text exchange between Jason Mantzoukas and Stevie Martin about losing this week’s live task. Martin’s also the guest on this week’s official Taskmaster podcast.

Until next time: What Taskmaster task did you find most disgusting? Sally Phillips’ “special cuddle” with Little Alex Horne in S5 was pretty gross, but I was literally watching Baynton’s yogurt-eating through my fingers.